Project NEO
Enjoy some catsum ipsum :3
Rub my belly hiss swipe at owner's legs sniff catnip and act crazy growl at dogs in my sleep sit on the laptop for hiss at vacuum cleaner i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me.
Head nudges eat my own ears. Hey! you there, with the hands why can't i catch that stupid red dot, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff, or roll over and sun my belly curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.
Catch mouse and gave it as a present kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together leave fur on owners clothes but mice yet hide head under blanket so no one can see. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table use lap as chair, for eat all the power cords.
Sit on the laptop scratch so owner bleeds for snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard, yet lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty or in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep. Love to play with owner's hair tie hide from vacuum cleaner. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything.
Meow meow attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened chase little red dot someday it will be mine! destroy couch as revenge for use lap as chair, so always hungry but lick butt. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day mrow yet catching very fast laser pointer. Carrying out surveillance on the neighbour's dog. Sleeps on my head waffles, so pet me pet me don't pet me so stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in for hack up furballs, curl into a furry donut. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Cats are the world.
Catch mouse and gave it as a present chase ball of string sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping so when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason plop down in the middle where everybody walks, for rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent chew the plant. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Then cats take over the world destroy dog.
Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Sit in box sit on human they not getting up ever, wake up human for food at 4am and bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face but eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Play with twist ties scream for no reason at 4 am, hunt anything. Catasstrophe push your water glass on the floor and whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food why can't i catch that stupid red dot.
Tweeting a baseball attack like a vicious monster, for pee in the shoe milk the cow and howl uncontrollably for no reason cat ass trophy yet mark territory. Ears back wide eyed a nice warm laptop for me to sit on for oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap if it fits, i sits. Shake treat bag. Go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed.
purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Murr i hate humans they are so annoying kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn't see that no you didn't definitely didn't lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment.